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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Saturday, December 17, 2005 12:52 PM
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

there are just simply qute a number of things going in my heart. a mixture of feelings. this song is what i want to say to someone. lols. but till now, i have got no courage to do so. this person has made me realise something and that is to treasure the people around us before they are gone. but nonetheless, i still could not have the courage to tell you my feelings.

sigh. i seemed to be a strong person, i agree i am. but now, my life is no longer the same as it used to be. but i will get it back. right now, i'm like, i don't know how to describe. most of the things i want to say, is up there. i'm afraid, i'm really afraid. i have not been so afraid before. not once. this is the first time i'm so afraid of losing the people around me. indeed you guys had great impact on me. hahas. disappointed in myself. i received e-mail yesterday. it says, in our life, we will met four kind of people, one of them is ourselves, the other one is the person we love most, the third one is the person who loves us most and finally the one whom we are going to spend our lifes together. who had i actually met? definately not the fourth one. because it's impossible.

and in this e-mail, i realised something, love is something that is sweet. you love the person for he/she is. no matter how much weakness the person have, or how much strength the person have. you cannot make a person change to who you want him/her to be like. if he/she didn't success, it meant that you will not love the person? and most importantly, when you love the person, no matter how hard you try, you cannot decieve your own heart. you might be able to decieve other people, but not yourself. and when you do not like the person, you cannot force yourself to like too. when a person is about to leave you, ask yourself if you still love the person. if you still do, then wish him/her all the best and you will want him/her to be happy. let him/her be a history that lies in your heart.

true love can never say a reason, you will only know that no matter where you are, no matter what time is it, no matter you are happy or sad, you will want that person to be with you. feelings are to be given out, not just taken.

sigh. after saying so much about love, is this the love God has given us? lols. God's love is more amazing than this. His love will make us come back to Him whenever we have a problem. this is the best thing about God. that's the reason, why i never leave Him, because i cannot bear to. His love make us feel peace in Him, joy in Him and most importantly, He is like a Father to us, someone who will take great care of us, no matter how down we are. He will always be the one who pick us out from the darkness. someone we could not see, but had faith in. that's Him, the one who sent His son to die for us in flesh, to become the scapegoat for our sins, the one, who loves us like His own children. i thank Lord, for being able to know Him and being soft-hearted enough to accept Him, and not to ignore Him.